Doubt

Sometimes, I doubt the dream. I don't want to waver, but I do. I try to walk in faith. So, believing. I write in my journals. Write blog posts. Read. Study. And pray. Things go along ok for awhile. Then one day I wake up, and there's the doubt. Inside me. Drowning all hope. Leaving desperation. Despair. Depression. I don't want to live like this. Is there a way out? I remember what He said to me almost two years ago. I wrote His words in my journal. I am your Strength. I am your Fortress. I am your loving God. Watch me. Let me show you that I am your strength, that I am your fortress, that I am your loving God. Give me control so that I can show you that I am all of these things and more. Give me control. Watch me. Let me make you into the writer that you desire to become--that I desire for you to become. Incredible, isn't it? I'm just an ordinary woman. Who am I that the Lord God--the Creator of the universe--the great I AM--should stoop to address me? Should speak to me personally. But He did. So, why do I still doubt Him? I mean that's who I'm really doubting. Because He's the One who put the dream in my heart. I just do. I believe Him, but I still struggle. Does that make any sense? And for me doubting usually leads to pouting. Then to pity. But when I go to the Word. Cry to Him. Confess. He hears. He comforts. He's been near the whole time. "Be not far from me, O God: come quickly, O my God, to help me" (Psalm 70:12). God is near to you, too. He wants to help you. He has words for you. He has a plan for you. Jesus said that He wants to give us life. Life to the full. No doubt about that. Sweet dreams, Deb