Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Like a Kiss

His words fell on my lips like a lingering kiss. You’re still my girl. I’ll always love you. I keep replaying the entire scene in my mind. How I lay on the couch in our living room, feeling miserable. Looking even worse. Eyes bloodshot and swollen, devoid of color. How he seemed to be blind to my ugly, looked beyond it, and saw beauty instead.

I remember how he took care of me after I had retina re-attachment surgery. Both retinas were detached. The left eye required a very invasive procedure; laser worked on the right eye. Still, I couldn’t see much of anything for quite a while.

I remember that he hated having to put the drops in my eyes. He knew that it hurt for me to open my eye and that the drops burned really bad. But I needed them in order for my eye to heal. Four different kinds—one drop each—left eye only—four times a day. Eight o’clock, twelve, four, and ten turned into torture time for both of us.

I remember that he cooked breakfast for me the morning after I had surgery. My favorite meal: bacon, eggs, and grits. Funny how he did that because he doesn’t like to eat breakfast.

I remember how I was so visually impaired for the first few days following surgery that I had to wake him up during the night to take me to the bathroom. He never complained.

He wouldn’t.

He loves me.

I’m his girl.

I was helpless and needy and unattractive. But none of that changed how he felt about me. Both his words and actions showed his love for me.

And you know what, sweet girl. Our helplessness—our neediness—our ugliness doesn’t change how our loving God feels about us.

He still loves us.

He will always love us.

We’re still His girl.

We’ll always be His girl.

Our circumstances don’t change God’s character. Our current cache of feelings can’t change God’s character either.

Our God is good. Loving. Kind. Compassionate.

He has proven His great love for us.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5: 8).

Nothing can change that kind of love. Nothing can change that kind of God.

He has given us the kiss of love. Lingering. Eternal.

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Monday, March 19, 2012

Good to be Back

I've been away from this place for a long time--way too long. I've missed being here. I've missed you. A lot has happened.

Some Fun Things

Like last summer, I spending a month in Miami with my darlin' hub. He worked while I relaxed by the pool. Walked to the beach. Shopped a little or more than. Don't feel too sorry for him, I did some work. You should have seen my tan.

Something Major

Then we came back home. Sold our house. Moved to a different town. Downsized. That part was definately not my idea, but he convinced me it was the right thing to do. And it is. We did some renovating. I haven't finished decorating though, and there's enough yard work to keep him busy for years.

Scary Things

We hadn't finished renovating when I had emergency retina reattachment surgery. Both eyes. Have mercy! But now I can see, read, and drive, and I'm so, so thankful.

Disappointing Things

Like a church writing project. Many hours invested. Not a big return.

A big misunderstanding about my dream between me and the one I love most.

A lack of direction in writing.

And just when I thought there was no hope--and no reason to hope--and that my dream was gone--my loving God did an amazing thing. He showed me that there is hope.

He is my hope.

He will always be my hope.

My hope is in Him.

My hope is in His word.

My hope is not in my dream.

My hope is alive.

My God is alive.

And so is my dream.

"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in You" Psalm 39:7.

I'm watching for Him. I'm waiting for Him. My hope was there all along. Jesus Christ is my Hope. He will never, ever--ever leave me.

He's way cool like that.

It's good to be back, sweet girl. Way good.

Sweet dreams,