Saturday, August 29, 2009

Martyr Mode

Mood swings. Menopause. Manic Mama. Have mercy! Add a few hot flashes. And that would be me. Are you scared yet? Well, there's more! For the past two weeks, I've been masquerading around with my martyr's mask on. I want to ditch it, but I keep picking it up again. For example, I just got back home from having a marvelous time at a Beth Moore simulcast. Felt convicted about being so mean. Mainly to my man. Then I heard him and my son downstairs. "Where have y'all been?" I ask. My sweet son answers, "The Mexican restaurant." You went where? Without me. You didn't wait for me. You know that Mexican is my favorite. And I'm starving! And there's nothing in the house to eat. Because no one has gone to the grocery store yet. Yes, this whole scenario sounds so silly. Makes me look shallow. But one little situation like this is all it takes; and once more, I morph into my martyr role. Somebody has done me wrong. I'll do whatever it takes to ensure that he knows it. So that he, too, feels miserable. And the martyr mentality. Justifiable. Right? Wrong. Because our emotions vascillate. They can confuse us and cause us to make costly mistakes. Like with God. When we feel that He's not listening. That He doesn't care. That He isn't doing anything to help us. If we allow them to do so, our moods will rule. And will mask His truth. The truth is that our moods cannot change God. Who He is. What He does. Our moods cannot change who we are in Him. His child. His beloved. His joy. Maybe you're not wearing a martyr's mask. Maybe you're wearing some other kind. The type of mask that we wear isn't important. It's important for us to put them away. If we'll remove our masks, our loving God will transform us. Make us more like Him. "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" (2 Corinthians 3: 18). Let's ask Him for mercy. For this promised transformation. For His glory. Let's refuse to rely on malfunctioning feelings. Or on moodiness. Or on martyr mode. Lord, show us your glory. In us. Through us. So that others may know. You. And Your glory. Sweet dreams, Deb


  1. Hi, Deb.

    Enjoying your blog, your writing style, and your Christian boldness!

    Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

    Grace and peace to you,

  2. Once again, you nailed me. You live somewhere in my house, don't you?!? ;0)

    I hope you are having a wonderful weekend. Thanks for all you are doing to further the Kingdom of Christ. May the Lord bless you as you continue to bless others.

    Because of Him,

    Teresa <><

  3. Dear Deb,
    Thank you for taking off your mask for us, and sharing a bit of your real self.

    We are all on a journey, and we go through a mixture of good days, and "not so good" days.

    I love Mexican food, too Deb.

    And just wanted you to know you're not alone as you journey to the heart of God.


  4. Deb, what a vulnerable post. To be willing to call 'em like you see 'em -- even when what you see is you. And not even a lame attempt at trying to excuse it away. We need more of this. Well, I need more of this.

    Thanks for sticking your neck out to encourage me to own up to my own ... stuff. I appreciate you.

  5. You always post so honestly. That is wonderful.

    I've worn the martyr mask before too. It just doesn't help a thing, does it?

  6. Jumping back into our real life after LPL was hard wasn't it?!

    I was there in Green Bay.

    then I came home, I was so tired and felt so icky!
    Then I realized I had to do a song for special music today at church. Yeah, that was called preparing on the fly!

    Had a few disagreements between my husband and myself today... hard to deal with, as I don't want to avoid conflict anymore, but he still does. It's hard to pursue him in a way that he finds non-confrontational.

    But we are working it through... always will. With God's help.
    God bless you,

  7. What a wonderful post and what a great reminder.

  8. Deb, I am struck by your vulnerability here. Thank you for this.

    I had to chuckle ... as there have been a number of times where I've been convicted of some behavior in me, only to have it rear its ugly head as soon as I stepped out of a church or a conference or a Bible study.

    God doesn't waste His time in having us confront our issues, does He?

    God bless you, sister.

  9. I know this all too well! Thanks for the encouragement and speaking the truth about our feelings.

  10. Hi Deb,

    I have read this post and re-read it. I have thought about it during the day when I make those comments all too often. Ugh. Thank you for your transparency. God has used you to help me be aware.

    Cory =)
    P.S. Have you read, "Truefaced"? A great book on masks... =)

  11. My dear friend
    I have been missing your visits... and just want you to know your posts are always a blessing to me.

    Do hop over to my blog place if you have some extra time for it... there is something there for you, to encourage your heart!


  12. Had a few of my own masks on this past weekend while my sons were home; didn't take me long to wander into the realm of "poor me" and "no one appreciates me" mode. Honestly, my emotions will be the ruin of me if not kept in check. I'm working on it, but not there yet.

    Glad for your time at the simulcast. I know you were blessed! Beth is a great teacher of the Word.

    Hope you're having a great week. Keep me posted.


  13. Seems we want to make it all about MEMEMEME..ha! It's so easy to do!! Thankful the Lord pulls me back into his loving spirit!

  14. Oooooo... were you in my house this morning, Deb? ;0) I was having a pretty good little pity party with God this a.m. Life is all about me, ya know! Your post is a great reminder. I asked Him to help me to follow Truth instead of my feelings. So hard to do!
    This is a great post. One of your best.

    Sorry I've not been communicating much. I was down all week with the flu last week. Now I'm buried with all the stuff I didn't get done last week. I want to talk soon. I'll email you to work out a time.

  15. Congrats! You won a prize over at the innovative gourmet. Send me your shipping address and I'll get your cookbook to you!!

  16. some love for you today.

  17. This is my first visit to your blog but I will be back.

    Every post I read hit me right smack in the face reminding me that I need to reminded everyday of what God wants.

  18. Y'all are the best!

    Thanks for allowing me to be honest and vulnerable with you.

    I'll be by to visit soon!

    Sweet dreams.

  19. wow. Im so convicted right now. thank you for your words. what a blessing to me!

    I know I pull the martyr mask on, but seeing the words right there just... really convict me.

    I know Im emotional. I know my emotions confuse me. and yet, I still let them drive me. I had to stop in the middle of typing this to pray.

    like someone above me wrote, thank you for your honesty and your words hit me in the face.

  20. Just stopping by from SITS to say Hi. Great blog! This post is so true...I do this very thing, often!
    Come by and check out my 5 DAYS OF GIVE-A-WAYS!

  21. I was just thinking of this very thing the other day. My goal is to (try) not to show my anger/disappointment about a situation if it will have no influence on the outcome. I have found that this is not an easy task!

  22. Really, Deb, it's a's them NOT us! Ha!

    I have a similiar story over a roll of paper towels!

    Living & loving life with the guys,


  23. Deb,
    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. I'm so glad that I found your blog! I feel like I'm at home here! I could have totally written this post about martyrdom (and menopause) today! Except that my sons are already grown and gone and it's just hubby who has to bear the brunt of my moods! ha

    I will be back to read more of your other posts in a day or two. Headed to bed now after a long busy Sunday!

    God bless you! Mississippi

  24. Thanks so much for swinging by my blog on my Sits Day last week:-)