Thursday, October 22, 2009
His Girl
Lately, I've been thinking that, maybe, I'm not the right girl for the job anymore. Like, maybe, the job requires someone who's smarter. A better writer. Someone who's not so much a material girl. But is more spiritual. Yeah. Definately, more of that.
Also, someone who is prettier. Skinnier. And a better cook. OK. OK, then--a girl who actually does cook--would probably get the job done more effectively.
To what job am I referring?
I'm talking about the job that He's called me to do.
The one where He wants me to "hold out the word of life" Philippians 2:16a.
Actually, He's called you, too. He wants all of us to share His great message through some venue.
For me, it's to hold out His words of life to friends. Family. And others. By writing.
That's my dream.
Sweet, right?
Yeah. But I'm just not sure if I can still be His girl like that. I mean, I sin everyday. I let Him down. Disappoint Him.
Just this week, I had a "conference" with a co-worker. I didn't like what she said. Or how she said it.
And, yes. You are so right. Shouldn't have gone there, but I did.
She said, "Yadeya...Ya...." Then I reacted, "YA...YA...YA...."
And that's the condensed version of how our little parley went down.
His girl. Failed Him in this situation. And in many others.
Should I quit? Is that what He wants? I think about giving up. But He keeps working in my heart. And in my life.
I'm learning about repentance. That repenting involves confessing my sins and turning away from them. And that's good. But that's not all.
True repentance centers around the love relationship that a holy and just and merciful God wants to have with us His sinful but precious children.
True repentance includes the privilege of receiving some things from God.
Things like love. Forgiveness. Restoration. Renewal.
And an invitation.
An invitation to return to the work. The calling. The dream that He put in our heart.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Can separate us from His love. His great love. His mighty love. His strong love.
His passionate love. His intimate love.
Nothing can separate us.
What's your calling? I'd love for you to share your dream with me and how you hold out Jesus for all of the world to see.
I'm so glad that I'm still His girl.
And so are you!
Sweet dreams,
Deb
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Thank the Lord, that He knows we are imperfect and loves us anyway.
ReplyDeleteGrace...couldn't live without it, for I always want to be considered HIS GIRL.
I really need to hear this. Nothing separates us, the bible says that. Thanks for the reminder. You also reminded me of something I wanted to share on my blog. Thanks! I don't know what my calling is yet...
ReplyDeleteThis struggle goes back farther than Moses. It doesn't change today. I am thankful HE can use me faults and all. He has truly blessed me beyond my comprehension.
ReplyDeleteAndrea
Dear Deb,
ReplyDeleteThere really are no easy answers when we knew we could have done better and we didn't. Times when we got sucked into a negative environment and before we knew it we were saying things we shouldn't have. Or pretending to agree, when deep down inside we knew we shouldn't have.
And at the end of the day, all that one can do is kneel at His feet and admit "I blew it. Please forgive me...again."
And you know He always does. All it takes is a repentant heart.
The people He can't help are those too proud to admit they need Him.
He knows our frame. He understands we're what we're made of. Psalm 103...
Thanks for sharing this, dear friend. And thanks for dropping by my blog today. Been praying for you.
Love
Lidj
Deb,
ReplyDeleteYou know that I can completely relate to this post. Satan has been having a field day with my mind and heart lately. I do believe some of the oppression has broken recently, and I feel a new infusion of peace and energy. I've also seen God answer and intervene in very tangible ways. It's still a battle though, to believe that God can use me in a significant way when I feel survival is about all I'm capable of right now.
I have been praying for you -- for peace and a cease to the chaos in your home and mind. Perhaps we can squeeze in another phone call this weekend. I'd love for us to be able to update each other on how we're doing after our last chat. You are a sweet sister in Christ and I can't wait to meet you face-to-face one of these days soon (writing conference??) ;0)
mmm.... needed this word today. My own mistakes of late have got me down. But I'm going to keep my chin up, and smile, cause I'm still His girl. Thanks, Deb.
ReplyDeleteYou'll always be his girl, Deb. Me too. Left to ourselves, we'll always default to ourselves. With Jesus, we're never left to ourselves. Instead, he draws us in; the closer we get to him, the pickier he gets regarding our many "issues." I think you're onto something with Jesus. Don't look at it as failure, but as drawing closer to the perfection he has called you to.
ReplyDeleteLove you friend. Enjoy your weekend.
peace~elaine
The road to spiritual maturity is a tough one. So much stumbling and getting back up, being picked up. But it's the place where peace resides and joy abides. Like you, that's where I want to be.
ReplyDeleteBlessings ~ Lisa
My assignment - to be free (from intimidation) to be myself because I am HIS girl!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful post - I love it! Thanks for sharing :-) and ps - I know you're ENOUGH because He has equipped you to accomplish the very thing He designed you for!
ReplyDeleteDeb,. thank you for this. This post speaks to me because I wonder if I am anything at all sometimes. I wonder if I can be a voice, His voice to help others when I feel so inadequate so much of the time. Blessings. Sarah
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely His girl. Your humility to share your mistakes and move through them continue to inspire me, friend. I am still wrestling with "the plan" for this calling, but I am inspired to dream just like you.
ReplyDeleteThanks
Hi Deb,
ReplyDeleteMy calling? To be the wife, mom, grammy, writer and speaker God desires for me to be. To live in authenticity and courageously walk through every door He opens for me.
SO glad that I'm His girl, too. :)
I miss it and often, and in front of my sons, too. There are times when Satan tries to tell me, "Oh, how can you go to church after you've lost your temper; your boys will think you're a hypocrite." Instead of ignoring "the elephant in the room," I addressed it. I told the boys, "See how I missed it? I repent. What I did was wrong. This just shows you WHY I need Jesus, why I need to be in church, why I cannot give up because then I would be like that all the time."
ReplyDeleteMy Calling? My desire to is show my children how to grow old in the love of The Lord. My Calling? http://bluecottonmemory.wordpress.com/standing-at-the-crossroads-introduction/
Be blessed Deb! Don't let the devil fool you into thinking you are not perfect enough! You so encourage me with your witness!
I'm so glad he called me to be His girl too. And I fail.... OFTEN... but it isn't about me and what I do. It's about Him and what he did... and is doing... and will do in my life. I'm a work in progress until the day that I die.
ReplyDeleteMy dream? Sometimes I think I am living it just not always to the fullness that He offers.
Oh, how I can relate to your feelings! I know I am so unworthy! So inadequate!
ReplyDeleteBut, how beautifully you have reminded me that God uses us despite our shortcomings and fragile human states.
Take care, my dear friend! Your writing and dream blesses me more than you know!
Andrea
It always surprises me too, that I'm his girl! Thank You Lord! Keep writing for him!
ReplyDelete