Approximately three hundred women entered the writing conference contest. But only four scholarships were awarded. So which one am I, recipient or reject?
Are you thinking about those numbers? Me too.
And of course the enemy of my soul is capitalizing on that way, way upsidedown ratio.
Messing with my mind. Mocking me.
You know what I'm talking about. Like this:
Why did you enter that contest in the first place? You're not good enough. You don't have what it takes to be a writer. God's holding out on you.
And I've been grappling with these questions for the past few days. Trying to reconcile myself to the very real possibility. Okay, probability of rejection here.
So, what answers have I derived?
Well, let's see. I wrote a post for the contest because my loving God led me to take a step of faith. He led me to put myself out on a limb for Him.
To risk a little rejection. A little humiliation.
Applying for the scholarship wasn't totally about the money; for me, it was more about obedience, and, if I'm honest, seeking acceptance of and affirmation for my writing.
I don't know what the She Speaks scholarship judges thought about my entry, but I believe that God is pleased with my effort.
And as far as God withholding something from me, that's just another one of satan's lies.
I chose to believe what God has spoken to me through His holy word:
Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld His love from me! (Psalm 66:20).
If I receive a scholarship, great. If I don't, the rejection will hurt. But I'll survive this sting because I am confident that my loving God, my sweet Savior has not rejected my prayers. He hasn't rejected me.
Sweet girl, He hasn't rejected your prayers or you either. He will never, ever reject us!
He will never withhold His amazing love from us either.
No matter what happens, let's don't listen to the liar who wants to steal God's promises from our hearts. That liar wants more than anything else to destroy the dreams that God Himself has lovingly, graciously placed within us.
No matter what happens, we are the recipients of God's love. His compassion and mercy. His great grace. His strength. His power. His resurrection power.
No matter what happens, we are not rejects in God's eyes.
May we see ourselves through His eyes and through His heart!