Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Just Shut My Mouth
They strike. Slice. And slash. Like a sharp shooter. Ricocheting through the air before I realize what's happened. My words. Oh, so sassy. So hard to control. Why can't I just shut my mouth? And keep it that way. You're right, I'm dreaming the impossible dream. Again. I'll have to make a lot of changes if this one's gonna come true. Because I like to talk. Sometimes, I talk way too much. Even when I don't have anything to say, I'll say something just to hear myself say something. I guess I like to hear my voice. Or my words, maybe. Kind of like I'm doing right now. Except I'm writing, not talking. Know what I mean? Anyway, my most recent opportunity to display a total lack of finesse in mouth management started--of all places--at church on Sunday morning. A friend in our class asked a question. A simple question. So, I seized this perfect opportunity to state my like way, way extensive biblical knowledge of the subject. I went on. And on. And on. I even contradicted a statement that he had made. Made him feel uncomfortable. Unvalued. As I finished this diatribe, I glanced toward him. Saw his face. And the slight, split-second change in expression. Pain. Caused by my careless, cutting words. Words that I spoke because I wanted to look good. Be right. Show off. And I'm sorry to say that I could give you more scenarios from this week when I should have kept my mouth shut. I didn't, and I hurt some more people. I want my words to be sweet. Soft. Sensitive. Like we're instructed in this verse: He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend (Proverbs 22:11). Don't you love this verse? I do. I just have a hard time living these words in my everyday. But I want to hide these words--about pure hearts--about gracious speech--close in my heart. So that my thoughts and words and actions will show that I am truly a friend of the King. The King of all Kings. Jesus Christ. He forgives me. Helps me. Will never give up on me. Even when I should just shut my mouth but lack the willpower to do so. You know, there's no god like our God. Is there? Sweet dreams, Deb What suggestions do you have to master this monster? I'd love for you to share.