Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Just Shut My Mouth

They strike. Slice. And slash. Like a sharp shooter. Ricocheting through the air before I realize what's happened. My words. Oh, so sassy. So hard to control. Why can't I just shut my mouth? And keep it that way. You're right, I'm dreaming the impossible dream. Again. I'll have to make a lot of changes if this one's gonna come true. Because I like to talk. Sometimes, I talk way too much. Even when I don't have anything to say, I'll say something just to hear myself say something. I guess I like to hear my voice. Or my words, maybe. Kind of like I'm doing right now. Except I'm writing, not talking. Know what I mean? Anyway, my most recent opportunity to display a total lack of finesse in mouth management started--of all places--at church on Sunday morning. A friend in our class asked a question. A simple question. So, I seized this perfect opportunity to state my like way, way extensive biblical knowledge of the subject. I went on. And on. And on. I even contradicted a statement that he had made. Made him feel uncomfortable. Unvalued. As I finished this diatribe, I glanced toward him. Saw his face. And the slight, split-second change in expression. Pain. Caused by my careless, cutting words. Words that I spoke because I wanted to look good. Be right. Show off. And I'm sorry to say that I could give you more scenarios from this week when I should have kept my mouth shut. I didn't, and I hurt some more people. I want my words to be sweet. Soft. Sensitive. Like we're instructed in this verse: He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend (Proverbs 22:11). Don't you love this verse? I do. I just have a hard time living these words in my everyday. But I want to hide these words--about pure hearts--about gracious speech--close in my heart. So that my thoughts and words and actions will show that I am truly a friend of the King. The King of all Kings. Jesus Christ. He forgives me. Helps me. Will never give up on me. Even when I should just shut my mouth but lack the willpower to do so. You know, there's no god like our God. Is there? Sweet dreams, Deb What suggestions do you have to master this monster? I'd love for you to share.


  1. Duct tape, my friend. Seems that's all that works for me. Funny, I'm not a talker. But man, when I do open it, ick oozes out so often it surprises me.

    But seriously? Remembering things like the look on your friend's face is one of the things that does make me think twice before I say something stupid. I've seen that look too.

    One of my kids said something tonight at dinner while we talked about this very thing: My conscience is slower than my brain. Seems that's my problem too.

  2. Zechariah 6:4 "Not by might, not by power but by My Spirit says the LORD"! Thankfully I am a work in progress and like you say He knows that and I go back and take stock with Him when day is done and ask for forgiveness because He tells me too...that is the very best I can do today. It is terribly better than I was doing by myself ten years ago before i found Him, and not as good and Him and i will be doing ten years from now I am sure but you and I are works in progress. Lord may we all continue to be gently, softly led by YOUR Spirit and YOUR Spirit alone. I pray in your Mighty, Healing name. AMEN. Thank you so much for your entry friend. Love Lisa. Sweet Sleep Angels. P.S. I belong to a group that has this phrase 'progress NOT perfection' and I so love that. Lord knows I am not perfect in my life but i strive to live a Christlike like today. Thanks for allowing me to comment on your beautiful blog. The Lord Bless and Keep you.

  3. Thank you for bringing Proverbs 22:11 to the forefront of my memory.

  4. Deb,

    You know no matter how hard I try, sometimes there is just a trigger that just gets me going. I've tried praying about it before speaking but it seems like for me, it's better to walk away and just cool off, let the emotion that I am experiencing at that moment just die off. Not sure how long I may have to wait before speaking again.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  5. I feel your pain. My mouth gets me in trouble way faster than I can close it. I also have a story to share this week about my words. I love your writing. Now that Christmas is over I'll be stopping by more often :o)

  6. Lyla,
    I'm off to the storage building in search of duct tape. Love that suggestion!

    "Progress not perfection." Should I get that phrase tattooed on my arm? Just kidding. But I really do need to be reminded that we are works in progress. Thank you for the prayer that you offered for us. And you're always welcome here.

    Oklahoma G,
    I need the reminder too.

    That trigger! Yes, that's it. It's like something just comes over me. I'll practice walking away. But just in case I don't, I'll use Lyla's duct tape as back up.

    So true. Close mouth. Stay out of trouble. Can't wait to read your "word" story!

    I'll be by to visit all of you in the next day or two.

    Sweet dreams.

  7. Dear Deb,

    Thank you for the honesty of sharing your heart. Confession exposes the hiding places of the enemy...

    Not one of us is exempt from this disease. But hope and healing is available, praise God!

    Did you go to that person to say you're sorry about the pain you caused?

    Thank you... always I thank you for your courage to share your heart.


  8. I've been pondering this one alot this week. I have someone in my life who often makes me feel the way you made another feel. I taught on kindness in kids club last night and alot of what I shared tied in with what I am learning. Mostly I'm just learning to honor others and humble myself. It's a lifelong lesson.

  9. yikes!!! but the good thing is you are sooooo aware. loved this. Sarah

  10. Wonderful post, Deb. I struggle with this, too, mainly with my children. The thing that helps me is when I feel like I'm going to "lose it," I remember the last time I "lost it" and how rotten I felt and the damage it caused. It really works -- a lot of the time. I'm still a work in progress.:0)

  11. I've been there, too. Like Melinda, it happens with my children. That's when I can "lose it," too.

    Thanks for sharing. I appreciate your humility and vulnerability.

  12. Oh, Deb, I had a somewhat similiar experience this past Sunday morning as well. I felt my response justified since the "topic" on the table with the literal rendition of God's Word (in other words does 40 days in the wilderness really mean 40 days or did Satan really take Jesus to the top of the temple, etc.). Well, I spoke my mind... freely. I have little wiggle room in my theology for exploring the authenticity of Scripture. Please.

    But anyway, I think I ruffled some feathers, especially the teacher. How I know this is that throughout the week, I've thought of writing him a note, expressing my thanks to him for being willing to teach. I haven't written that note, but I will.

    Me and my mouth; seems we're more alike than we originally thought! Perhaps it's good that I don't have a 9 to 5 workplace. I'm fairly certain I'd offend the world, or worse yet, a diplomat for the US. Can you even imagine the mess we'd be in?

    Love you.


  13. Lidj,

    I haven't talked to my friend yet.

    He and his wife have gone on vacation and won't be back for a couple of weeks.

    I did leave a message on their voice mail saying that I'm sorry, but I will apologize in person when they return.

    They are humble and forgiving people, and I think he will be gracious toward me.

    And I have asked God to forgive me.

    And to help me keep my shut more so that I can listen more.

    Thank you for asking about that.

    Sweet dreams.

  14. Love your honesty, Deb. I remember apologizing to my boys for losing it, many times. At Christmas, our oldest told me that meant so much to him -- that Mom and Dad could admit they were wrong and ask forgiveness.

    One comment I have to echo: " My Spirit"! And the best news is what you wrote -- that He IS forgiveness; He is grace.

  15. Another wonderfully honest post! I think most of us have trouble in that department.

    -Alisa Hope

  16. Wow! Deb, what a great transparent post. Thank you. ((((Deb))))

  17. I have something really special for you over on my blog come on over when you have a minute and check it out. This is not a joke or a prank it is a gift for you, a shot of encouragement because you deserve it! See you soon!

  18. Like everyone ele, I can relate to your post. I'm still a work in progress too.

    My breakthrough came when I spent over a year consciously meditating on Eph 4 & 5 until it became me or I became it.

    Your blog imparts grace to the readers...

  19. Margie,

    I plan to read those chapters tonight!

    Thanks for sharing your breakthrough.

    Sweet dreams.

  20. I am right here with you on this one. And at least you had the wisdom to recognize it, I never seem to get that insight until it's way too late! If I could only have a strainer over my mouth!