Tuesday, May 19, 2009


I dream of writing--kamikaze style. Just get the words down. Wild and free. Trample caution. No concerns about content, clarity, and cohesiveness. No worries about syntax and semantics. The message is what it is. I am who I am. Sounds great. So, why can't I do that? Well, some kind of glammed-up goddess seems to get into my mind. Calls herself Perfection. And wants me to believe that everything that I attempt--to write or to do or to be--must meet up to her standards. She's like that, you know. Insistent. Imposing. Honestly, she gets on my nerves. Like, for example, last year. I trained for five months to run a half marathon. I was getting up at 4:30 each morning to get all of my runs in before going to work. I mean, great effort. But I never entered a 5K or an 8K or a 10K. Not even a one-mile, fun run. Know why I didn't make a single attempt to race? Her. She started slinging insinuations: "Run a race! You've got to be kidding! I mean, seriously. What if you're not as good as everyone else? What are people going to think? What if you fail?" And, I acquiesced to her mental monologue. I paid homage to her that time. But no more monarch manipulating my mind. Instead, I'm learning the truth about perfection. I'm not perfect. We're not perfect. Never will be. But the Savior is perfect and so is His word. Perfection is a self-imposed mandate that He never issued. All that He requires is that we follow Him. In faith. Not in fear--fear of not being good enough--fear of what others will think--fear of failure. No fear. No perfection. He's such an amazing God. A loving God. John knew that. He writes, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear" (1 John 4:18a). God loves us perfectly. We don't have to be afraid of Him or of anything that He calls us to do. I dream of following Him, the one true King. With abandon. In reckless obedience. On the wild side. Of His perfect love. Sweet Dreams, Deb

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